I’ve always thought of myself as an in-articulate person, someone who struggles with putting what’s going on in my head into words. It’s a bit like there’s sometimes a blockage between my body that feels and thinks and knows, and my mouth. That’s why I like dance –
the 3-dimensionality of it;
the full, rounded, multiplicity of it;
the not quite knowing that can easily become something else;
a way of figuring out things in a bodily, visceral way
As someone that works in a kinaesthetic field, this is mostly ok. The dancers and collaborators I work with are used to being in a state of haziness. But there does mostly need to be a direction, articulated usually initially through words.
For me, this is where working with Lou has come in. We have worked together on and off through a few projects for a couple of years, and it’s a complete blessing. Lou is someone to share with, who will support you and ultimately encourage you to make the best work you can.
Often, we talk ourselves round in a circle and end up back at the beginning.
But circles are useful processes. And they are often not circles but winding paths through woods and buildings and desserts. These journeys exercise my conscious brain and make me feel like I’ve done some useful research. That I’ve thought of lots of possibilities and lateral routes.
But the best thing they’ve taught me is that the work I create comes from inside me. It’s an accumulation of everything I personally have experienced, read-about, thought-about, dreamt and felt. It couldn’t be anyone else’s, because no one else has been me. (That’s really not a boast, merely I reflection on the fact that through this process I have finally given up on the idea that there is a ‘right-answer’ – it’s more like ‘multiple-answers’).
Back to articulacy.
I also work with Lou to work out the steps that are needed to get to where I’d like to be going. We can think about what preparation might be needed for collaborators to enter the world I want the performance to be in. It opens up that world and makes it easier to articulate.
In the end, my work with Lou is probably a lot about confidence. Have an engaged ear that I can test words out with without judgement until I’m ready to share with a few more people.
It’s also about a lot more, but mostly things that can’t quite be described, just felt in a instinctual and imprecise way.